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Teaching Children About Diversity
How To Talk to Children About School Shootings
1. Listen to children. Allow them to express their concerns and fears.
2. Regardless of age, the most important issue is to reassure children of safety and security. Tell children that you, their school, their friends and their communities are all focused on their safety and that those around them are working for their safety. Have discussions about those dedicated to protecting them like police, teachers and other school officials, neighbors and all concerned adults throughout the community.
3. When discussing the events with younger children, the amount of information shared should be limited to some basic facts. Use words meaningful to them (not words like sniper, etc.). Do not go into specific details.
4. School-aged children will ask, "Can this happen here, or to me?" Do not lie to children. Reiterate how the community is focused on working to keep everyone safe in the community.
5. Parents, caregivers and teachers should be cautious of permitting young children to watch news or listen to radio that is discussing or showing the situation. It is too difficult for most of them to process. Personal discussions are the best way to share information with this group. Also, plan to discuss this many times over the coming weeks. Be prepared to discuss this over the coming weeks
6. When discussing the events with preteens and teens, more detail is appropriate, and many will already have seen news broadcasts. Do not let them focus too much on graphic details. Rather, elicit their feelings and concerns and focus your discussions on what they share with you. Be careful of how much media they are exposed to. Talk directly with them about the tragedy and answer their questions truthfully.
7. Although this group is more mature, do not forget to reassure them of their safety and your efforts to protect them. Regardless of age, kids must hear this message.
8. Be on the lookout for physical symptoms of anxiety that children may demonstrate. They may be a sign that a child, although not directly discussing the situation, is very troubled by the recent events. Talk more directly to children who exhibit these signs:
| Stomach aches Back aches Trouble sleeping or eating Nightmares Refusal to go to school | |
| Excessive worry Increased arguing Irritability Loss of concentration Withdrawal | Clinging behavior
9. Parents and caregivers should often reassure children that they will be protected and kept safe. During tragedies like these, words expressing safety and reassurance with concrete plans should be discussed and agreed upon within the family can provide the most comfort to children and teens.
10. If you are concerned about your children and their reaction to this or any tragedy, talk directly with their school counselor, family doctor, local mental health professional or have your older children visit KidsPeace's teen-help web site, www.teencentral.net which provides anonymous and clinically-screened help and resources for teen problems before they become overwhelming.
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Every child feels some sense of nervousness at the thought of beginning a new school year. A few late nights or fluttery tummies in the days before school begins are often signals not only of nervousness, but also of excitement at seeing old friends and meeting new people. However, for some children the beginning of a new school year brings on a sense of terrific anxiety and stress for a variety of reasons. Sometimes students need to learn new ways to adjust to their new schedules and environments. Other times, previous incidents can contribute to the perception of future problems. If your child exhibits some of these symptoms for more than the first few days of the new school year, you may want to contact your child's teacher, your pediatrician, or the school counselor for suggestions on how to help alleviate your child's unease. Getting professional help will help make the transition easier for you and your child. Some behaviors to watch for are:
Remember, it is perfectly natural for your child to be nervous, excited, anxious and eager all at the same time leading up to (and during the first days of) the school year. However, if you are concerned about your child due to the intensity or duration of their behavior, please seek professional assistance from the school or your pediatrician so that the situation can be remedied as quickly as possible. |
